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Here’s what I don’t understand

I don’t get how fasting gets rid of so much weight and then one day just doesn’t. I binged last night because I was so angry so I didn’t want to really fast today because I have to fast tomorrow. I decided on just breakfast and im not to weigh myself until Tomorrow night. I feel myself slipping. I am too aware of my own size





I finally broke into the sixties guys. I have 28 days until Disney. I’ll be damned if I’m going to florida fat. I think I can loose at least 8 more lbs by then and than Im so close to the fifties. I’ll be in the fourties by July and I’m going to the beach that month. Maybe I’ll brave a bikini. Then I the next month I want to be in the thirties. I’ve got a really early junior prom and I WON’T be fat for that.





today

someone saw my cuts. 





I am the fattest being to ever exist

I am disgusting and greedy and need to learn my place. I feel like I’m slipping. I can’t fail this time.





I deserve every scar





I am a worthless

corpulent whore who deserves every ounce of abuse I deal my body





what I need to do

is learn that I am a worthless, unwanted, piece of shit that is undesirable to all who breathe. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut because I’m continually making a fool of myself. I need to comprehend that i am a fat whale and no one will ever want me and all notion perceived as such is an evil joke to further my deteriorating self esteem. I need to understand that EVERYONE would be better off with out me.